Over the past week and a half I've done a lot of reflecting and pondering, with all of these thoughts centered on Self. Various events have occurred recently to spawn this drawn-out reflection time that I've been having, and it's been confusing sifting through my life over the past few years. I've gone back through old journals, pictures, sketches, blogs, emails, and Facebook comments, and I've been recognizing things about myself that I've never noticed before. This I will not go into detail about. (At least not right now.)
I will say this, however. I've definitely changed A LOT since I graduated high school. In most areas, I've grown into a better person. But there are some areas in which I've digressed and some areas in which I've not changed one bit. And these areas disturb me. They're huge areas. I am not okay with this. Again, this I will not go into detail about. (At least not right now.)
There's some crazy stuff in my old xanga. Crazy good, crazy bad, and crazy whack stuff. But as I've gone back through it, I realized how much writing on a blog was very different for me than just a personal journal. It was very helpful (not that a personal journal was/is not.) I do want to start updating this thing a bit more often. At least I say that now.
I'm hoping that over the next couple weeks I will become less confused about the things that have confused me. And as I seek this state of being, I hope and pray that I can find a mentor along the way.
1 comment:
Good post. I love the honesty. I also read much of your old xanga stuff, it was pretty interesting and insightful. I can definitely relate to that "limbo" stage of transitioning from one thing to another, it's how I feel at the end of every summer. Just somewhat up in there air and no real direction as to where I will land next. I have found these times some of the toughest when seeking God's will.
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