You Don't Like Me.

This summer has taught me so much about myself, and some of it is not good. One thing in particular I realized a couple of weeks ago - I realized that whenever I meet people, I automatically assume that they do not like me and I have to earn their liking.

For the first week that I was with TEAMeffort, all of the staff underwent "staff training." During those several days, we learned how to roof, build decks, how to lead a worksite, what to do for meals, and everything else involved in the camp. At the same time, we got to spend a lot of time with our individual staffs that we were going to spend the summer with. So I spent that time with the 9 other Pennsylvania Staffers. Those first few days were rough for me because my mind was back home where my grandparents were (my grandfather was very ill), so I wasn't the happiest, most outgoing person at that time. Well, later during the summer, as I was talking with Meredith and Mary (other PA staff), they said that they thought I hated them when they first met me. I was shocked! I told them that I thought that THEY hated ME! Of course, we were all wrong. It later hit me that I always assume that people don't like me.

It's silly to think that upon an initial encounter, but I've been observing myself and the way I am around people, and I realized that it's true. That's probably why I'd been so shy most of my life. It's why I don't talk to people sometimes. It probably has a lot to do with why I wear makeup or what clothes I wear. It probably has a lot to do with why interviews freak me out. It probably has a lot to do with why I hang on to people who I know like me. ....It's silliness!

For the past few years I've been reading a book about being a leader (Habitudes). (It's one of those books that you'll read ten pages, put it down, and come back to it 6 months later to do the same thing haha.) And in one chapter it talks about being a leader in your relationships with others. The chapter was titled "Hosts and Guests" and it encourages you to be a host in your interactions with others. Hosts make the phone call instead of waiting for it; hosts introduce themselves instead of being introduced; hosts look to serve instead of looking to be served; hosts focus on similarities instead of differences; and hosts are proactive instead of reactive. I realized that I'm often the guest, which is also SILLY. (Especially now that our lives are getting busier and busier!) So I started applying this. And I noticed these things in other TE staff this summer. Man, talk about amazing people. I learned so much from the TE staff about just smiling and complimenting others. Smiles and compliments go a very long ways.

Anyway, I also realized that a lot of other people feel this way too. So in all of my future encounters, I'm going to be proactive about reminding myself that I should assume nothing - just smile and be excited to meet a new beautiful person! The mindset is key. I should be a Psychologist.